Stupid is a Universal Term/An Invitation

Another day filled with the unexpected (unless you know me well and are aware of my insurmountable shortcomings with the world of objects of all variety). The other day, Rosario, our house watcher, convinced me to buy a microwave friendly, handy-dandy rice, vegetable and pasta steamer. With mounting excitement, I made the short journey to the Maxi-Bodega, a subsidiary of Wal-Mart (who else) without the bedecked greeters. Fate was on my side, as I was able to track down the last one. My heart pounding with eagerness, I made it back home, to test its usefulness. Not really a great idea, in retrospect. I scrupulously followed all of the instructions (except one, as it turned out). Measured out the correct amounts of rice (one cup), added water (one and a half cups), snapped the locks, set the microonde por nueve minutos and watched the container revolve, transfixed by the culinary wonder of it all.
When the microwave beeped its readiness, my joy was palpable, but the inevitable doubts crept in: What if it is overcooked? OMG, undercooked? Unable to quell my lack of confidence, I decided to take just a little peek. Oh, the instruction I neglected to absorb was "Under no circumstance, lift the lid before five minutes have elapsed." Gently unlocking and opening the lid, I was greeted, not with the savory aroma of perfect rice, but with an incredible searing pain which burnt through my being as the boiling steam met the exposed flesh of my hand. Charred flesh, not the result I had intended. Apparently, five seconds does not allow for the insides of the infernal contraption to cool. Who would have guessed?
As it turns out, I was quite lucky; the pain subsided, the blisters arrived and there was only minor degree damage to two of my fingers. As Elizabeth (who understands only too well my ineptitude and is puzzled as to what helpful spirits have allowed me to remain alive despite my stupidity and incompetence with all things) offered, "It could have been a lot worse. What if you had put your face nearer to have a closer view and a nice smell?"
Alfredo, my friend and neighbor brought over an aloe vera plant from his medicinal garden, and the digits are healing nicely.
Now, as a glass half full kind of person, I was able to utilize this event during last night's first lesson in English to two of the neighbours, Nadir, a twenty year old young man who is attending college and his sister Jennifer, who is in grade three. While demonstrating the simple present, past and future, I used my crumbling body in examples.
I had a broken toe (wine barrel, losing grip, foot- (not my fault; who can withstand the immutable laws of physics).
I had a severed finger (sharp knife, tomato, losing focus; how does one quell a creative, wandering mind).
I have two, very sore fingers.
I will have another injury (fate is not to be denied).

When I asked them if they wanted some slices of pineapple, they reacted in animated unison, "No gracias, Senor Gregory!" Jennifer then presented me with a lovely invitation to her First Communion this Saturday at the Cathedral. The ceremony will be followed by a lunch at their house. I am pondering whether or not to carve her a nice Maple Leaf out of local wood for a present.